


The Beginning

by Animal_Arithmetic



Series: Upon These Golden Sands I Built My House of Dreams [9]
Category: Supernatural, The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mama Jaskier, Mute Dean Winchester, Nightmares, POV Child, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Trauma, child fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animal_Arithmetic/pseuds/Animal_Arithmetic
Summary: Dean didn't really understand what was going on. His mommy was gone and his daddy wasn't being very nice and his words kept getting stuck on his tongue.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Upon These Golden Sands I Built My House of Dreams [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614880
Comments: 32
Kudos: 808





	The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'm remembering that John wasn't-so-nice to Mary and Dean before Sam was born or if I read too much fanfiction. Either way, John is Not Good.
> 
> Also, this is longer than my usual snippets, but, well, Dean needed to tell his story I guess.

The first part of November was... confusing. Dean wasn’t sure if that was quite the right word, but it worked for now. He was confused, at least. His mommy was gone—“Dead,” dad had said, voice and face mad and red and strange when Dean had asked when she was coming back. “She’s not coming back. That demon _killed_ her.”—and he didn’t really understand what ‘dead’ or ‘killed’ meant. He missed his mommy, though. The fire had probably hurt her. Maybe she was in the hospital? Was that what daddy meant?

But every time he tried to ask, daddy told him to shut up and go watch Sammy.

And he looked mad, too. More mad and scarier than ever. Even before the fire and when he would yell at mommy and leave for a long time.

And every night, Dean had bad dreams about the fire and the scary man with yellow eyes that had stood in the corner of the room watching and not helping. He would wake up screaming and crying for mommy, choking on the thick black smoke again, feeling the heat on his face and hands and feet as he watched his mommy on the ceiling. And daddy would grab his shoulders so hard that it _hurt_ and shake him and tell him to shut up and stop being a fucking baby and that big boys don’t cry and _shut the fuck up_.

So, Dean stopped talking. And it seemed to make daddy less mad at him.

They stayed with a very kind woman with really dark skin who said to call her Missouri. Dean hadn’t ever seen anyone with that color of skin before. It was really pretty, and matched her soft, kind eyes. She had eyes like a mommy, and she let him sit in her lap to look out the window when daddy disappeared and Sammy played at her feet.

And then two men came one day while he was watching Sammy and daddy had a brown bottle in his hands. One was very big with white hair and amber eyes and kinda looked like that other man’s but not really and the other was just as tall but littler with the same kind eyes his mommy and Missouri had. But they were really, _really_ blue. Bluer than the sky! Something in his tummy squeezed when he saw them—like he could trust them, maybe.

“Hello, John,” the big man said.

Daddy didn’t look at him when he said, “Fuck off.”

The two men sat on the other couch while Missouri left. Dean wasn’t sure what to do—mommy always said staring wasn’t nice, so he held out Sammy’s teddy bear to try to make him crawl to him, but Sammy just kinda flopped around.

“Sent Rodney on his way, then?” Missouri asked, bringing back cups of water she sat in front of them on the table.

“Sent him to Bobby,” the bigger man answered. His voice was really deep and grumbly like a bear. “I can’t watch after all of them.”

The other man mumbled something Dean couldn’t hear. But then he moved and sat down next to Dean and picked up one of the wood cars Sammy had been chewing on earlier. He made a funny face that Sammy giggled at and he tried to wipe his hand off on his jeans. Dean felt his own mouth twitch. He wanted to smile, but he wasn’t sure if daddy would get mad at him for laughing. His shoulders hurt enough. He didn’t want daddy to hurt him more.

“Missouri’s kept me here long enough,” daddy said, setting his bottle down really loud on the table. “I need to get searching for the yellow-eyed demon.”

“You’re not a hunter,” the big man told him. His voice was still all grumbly, but soft, too, somehow. “I’m sorry about Mary. She was a good friend. But you cannot just fling yourself into the life. It’s no way to raise children.”

“I need to get revenge!”

Dean flinched, leaning towards the other man and hoping he could keep his daddy from hurting him again. His lower lip wobbled as he stared up at daddy, waiting to see what he would do. But the big man grabbed daddy and walked away with him. Dean could still sort of hear their voices, but not what they were saying.

“My name’s Jaskier!” the kind man said, pulling Dean’s attention away from the doorway. “I know it’s a bit of a mouthful, so you can call me Jask or Yazzy or Jasky or whatever you can say!” His voice was very... it reminded Dean of Christmas lights, all bright and colorful and cheerful. His smile was nice, too. “You’re Dean, right?”

Hesitantly, Dean nodded.

“And that’s Sammy?”

Dean nodded again, relaxing just a little. Jasky seemed nice. Much nicer than daddy, anyway.

“What’s your favorite game to play?” Jasky asked, picking up a toy that didn’t have Sammy’s drool all over it. “We can play with the cars? Or I can teach you a clapping game?”

Dean eyed him suspiciously. Daddy didn’t like it when he talked. But Jasky seemed much nicer. Maybe he wouldn’t get mad? Dean opened his mouth to say he wanted to push the cars around, but the words got stuck on his tongue. He frowned, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to force the words off his tongue but they wouldn’t leave his mouth.

Missouri sat forward on the couch and touched Jasky’s shoulder. “He’s mute,” she said quietly. “Ever since he saw...”

“He _saw_ that?” Jasky sounded scared, and sad, and tears dripped down his cheeks. “Oh, you poor _baby_ ,” he cried, right before scooping Dean up and cradling him in his lap, rocking him back and forth.

Dean wasn’t quite sure how to respond. But Jasky’s arms were warm and comfortable, so he let Jasky cry over him. Daddy said big boys weren’t supposed to cry, but Jasky was crying and Missouri wasn’t telling him to stop or anything. But the rocking was nice, and he liked being held. Daddy hadn’t held him since that night, even though he had asked for cuddles like mommy would after a bad dream.

Jasky sniffed and pulled away enough to blow his nose on the tissue Missouri handed him.

But then daddy and the big man stomped out of the house. The big man came back in, but daddy didn’t.

It wasn’t unusual that daddy didn’t say goodbye before leaving. He never did when he was in one of his “moods” as mommy called them.

Dean kind of hoped he wouldn’t see daddy again.

But that was mean, mommy had told him.

Jasky interrupted his thoughts by pulling Sammy into his lap and gesturing for Dean to sit in front of him. “Let’s try a hand clapping game! Do you know Patty Cake?”

Dean shook his head and sat in front of him. Sometimes he would take Sammy’s hands and move them, which made Sammy giggle and screech. Dean liked seeing his brother so happy. If... If Dean couldn’t be happy—not ‘til mommy came back—then at least Sammy could be.

“Jaskier,” the big man grumbled from the doorway. Dean looked over at the big man, eyes wide. “How do you feel about going to the coast?”

It took a bit for Jasky to reply, but when he did it was with a happy shout. He shot up and spun Sammy in a circle before gently setting him down and doing the same for Dean. The living room blurred around them and made Dean dizzy and he couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped. He shut right up, hoping and hoping that Jasky didn’t hear it and yell and hurt him.

But Jasky gently set him down on the couch next to Missouri and skipped over to the big man to kiss him like mommy and daddy sometimes did when they were happy. “Finally!” he said happily, grinning brightly at Dean. “Have you ever been to the beach, Dean?”

Dean shook his head. He wanted to ask what a beach was, but the words stuck to his tongue again.

“You’ll see,” Jasky said, still sounding happy. “Oh, I’m so excited!”

Dean couldn’t help but be a little excited, too.

* * *

Grownups talked a lot when they thought he couldn’t hear them.

He was cuddling in Jasky’s lap after begging for the man to hold him. Jasky gave nice hugs and always picked him up when Dean stood at his feet and stared up at him. Jasky just _understood_ what he wanted without Dean having to ask, which was nice. Even though daddy was gone and Jasky seemed too nice to hurt him, Dean was still scared to talk.

But at the moment, he had his head pressed against Jasky’s chest, listening to his heartbeat with his eyes closed. Sometimes mommy had let him do that, back before Sammy. It was nice to do it again. It made him feel less scared.

“We need to put him in therapy,” said Jasky. One hand was wrapped tight around Dean and the other was petting his hair, just how he liked it. “Missouri said Dean watched Mary die...”

There was that word again, but Dean didn’t know how to ask what that meant.

“Might be a bit before we can do that.” Jasky had introduced the big man as Geralt and said he was nice—his face just looked kind of scary and he couldn’t help looking grumpy all the time. “We need money for a house, first. They need stability.”

“A Witcher? Retiring?”

“I’m tired, Jask. I can’t keep going so hard like I’ve been. Not if I want to live through the rest of your life.”

“You big sap, you.”

Dean blinked his eyes open. They sounded a lot like his mommy and daddy, back before they started fighting and yelling all the time.

“Did you have a good nap, baby?” Jasky asked, still running his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean nodded and cuddled closer, not wanting to leave Jasky’s arms. But Jasky didn’t push him away. His arm tightened around Dean. “We need to talk to you about something, okay? You don’t have to talk—we just need you to listen and tell us if you understand, okay?”

Dean nodded, kind of scared. But he would be a good boy and listen. He didn’t want them to hurt him.

“Your daddy—He left, baby,” Jasky said quietly, not so happy like he usually sounded. But then he sighed and hugged Dean tighter. “Let me start over. Do you understand that your mommy isn’t coming back?”

Dean kind of nodded, kind of shrugged. Daddy had said she wasn’t coming back, but he didn’t understand _why_. Dean gripped Jasky’s bright shirt in his hand, keeping his gaze on the bright blue color. It was like Jasky’s eyes, which were nice.

“Something bad happened to her,” Jasky continued. He started gently swaying them back and forth. “And she can’t come back. You saw her die, Dean. Do you understand that?”

Dean shook his head, remembering the smoke and the heat and he couldn’t help the tear that slipped down his cheek.

“Oh, baby.” Jasky held his head with one hand. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Missouri said you have nightmares—bad dreams, right? And we’re going to find you someone who can help you understand, someone who can help you figure out what happened. But it’s going to be a little bit, okay?” Dean didn’t know how to respond to that, so Jasky continued. “But because of what happened, your daddy left. Not in the same way your mommy did. He can come back, but... He doesn’t want to.”

Oh. That made his heart hurt—his daddy didn’t love him, apparently, but something in his shoulders lightened. He wouldn’t have to be afraid that his daddy would hurt him anymore.

“So we’re going to be your parents, okay?” Jasky said, pulling Dean from his thoughts with a gentle stroke to his hair. “Well, Geralt is going to be your new daddy, and I’m going to help take care of you. But you have to call Geralt daddy, okay? I know it’s bad to lie, but sometimes it’s okay, like when you need to keep you safe, okay? I know it’s hard to understand, but it’s to keep you safe, baby. Someone could take you away.”

Dean didn’t want to be taken away. Geralt was kind of scary, with his grumpy face, but Jasky was really nice and cuddled him a lot and made him feel safe. Much safer than he had the last few weeks, anyway. So, Dean nodded, rubbing his face into Jasky’s chest and clutching the soft fabric of the shirt tighter. He had wanted a new daddy, anyway... As long as this one wouldn’t hurt him, he was okay with that.

Missouri called them for dinner. Dean was so happy that he was actually hungry. Before, his tummy had hurt too much to try to eat much and daddy would get mad that he was wasting Missouri’s food. But this time he pushed the plate closer to Jasky when it was empty, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“Are you done?” Jasky asked, already taking the plate.

Dean quickly grabbed it and shook his head. How was he supposed to ask for more...?

But Jasky seemed to understand, already smiling happily at him as he stood with Dean’s plate, gently taking it from Dean’s hand. “Ah, you want more! Good boy. What do you want more of?”

He got to _choose_? Dean’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Jasky. He didn’t know what to pick!

“Hmm.” Suddenly, large hands were around his waist, picking him up.

He tensed, afraid that Geralt—daddy, now, he needed to remember that—was going to hurt him. But Geralt just took him to the counter where the food was, one strong arm wrapped around his middle so his legs dangled and his back was pressed against the big man. There was more of the yummy casserole, some green beans drenched in a yummy sauce, and apple slices on the counter. Plus a plate of cookies Missouri had let him help bake yesterday.

“Which do you want?” Geralt—daddy—asked. His chest rumbled when he spoke, making Dean’s back tickle.

Dean bit his lip. After looking up at Jasky, who was smiling at him with a soft, kind, mommy-smile, Dean pointed to all four things on the counter. It made Jasky laugh and he ruffled his hair.

“Good choice!” Jasky said, quickly scooping a little of everything up and even adding one of the bigger cookies onto his plate.

Geralt gently set him back in his chair. Missouri was grinning from her seat where she was spoon feeding Sammy. “That’s the most I’ve seen him eat all week,” she said. “Even asking for seconds!”

Dean wiggled in his chair, finding it hard to contain the burst of happiness at their happiness. All three were smiling at him and not mad at him. Dean liked them a lot. If they were supposed to be his new family, well... Dean supposed he could live with it.

After dinner, Jasky said he needed a bath before going to bed. Missouri said she would help Geralt get Sammy settled and they went to the room where they had been staying. Jasky, however, led him to the bathroom for bath time. Dean liked bath time, usually, but daddy—old daddy—hadn’t been very gentle with him, not being careful about getting soap in his eyes sometimes and scrubbing a little too hard.

But Jasky helped him onto the potty all gently and nicely and was talking too much and too fast for Dean to keep up with.

And then Jasky helped him undress so he could take his bath. But Jasky paused when he took off Dean’s shirt. There was a funny look on his face, like he was trying not to cry again. “Dean, baby... What happened?”

Dean flinched back when Jasky tried to touch his shoulders. The sad look just got worse.

“Geralt!” Jasky yelled, sounding scared. “ _Geralt_!”

Thundering steps made their way down the hallway and Dean cowered in the corner as Geralt burst in. “What’s wrong?” he asked, yellowy eyes wide. He looked down at Dean, still cowering in the corner. “What the fuck, Jaskier.”

“It’s—Geralt—They’re fresh. If it was from the night of the fire they should be more faded, right?” Jasky still sounded scared and kind of sad. Dean didn’t understand why they were reacting that way.

Missouri came in behind Geralt, huffing and clutching at her chest. “What’s wrong—Oh my word.”

“That _son of a bitch_!” Jasky’s hands clenched and Dean huddled further into his corner. Had he done bad? “Oh, no, baby,” Jasky cooed, suddenly soft and kind and gentle again. “I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m mad at your—I’m mad at John. Your old daddy. Baby—Baby, did he hurt you? Did he do this to you?”

Hesitantly, Dean looked at all the grownups. They all looked so sad and scared and he didn’t understand _why_. But... Daddy—old daddy—wasn’t coming back. So—So he could tell, right? Slowly, he nodded his head, startling when Jasky pulled him into a gentle hug.

“That _monster_ —” Jasky choked above him on a sob and held him closer. “Geralt—if that man comes anywhere _near_ my baby—”

“I know, Jask.” Geralt sounded scary, even more grumbly than before. Dean flinched when Geralt knelt beside Jasky. “It’s okay, Dean. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to look, okay?”

Dean hid further in Jasky’s arms. Geralt was even bigger than daddy and could surely hurt him even more.

“It’s okay, baby,” Jasky said, petting his head again. “Geralt—Geralt won’t hurt you. He’s big and scary, but he’s a total softy. Are you scared of him?”

Hesitantly, Dean nodded. He was just _so big_.

“It’s okay, baby,” Jasky said softly, swaying them from side to side. “I promise he won’t hurt you. He just wants to take care of you and make sure you’re not hurt. He’s big and strong, I know, and really scary, but you know what? He’s really good at keeping monsters away!”

“Jaskier—”

“And him being so big and strong means he can protect you and hold you!” Jasky pulled away just enough to look at Dean. His hands weren’t near Dean’s shoulders where they hurt, thankfully. “I’m not going to make you trust him, but... Surely you feel something, right? Right here?” He poked at Dean’s bellybutton and he couldn’t help letting out a little giggle at the tickle. “Something tight in your tummy that says Geralt is nice, right?”

Jasky was right, though. He was only scared because Geralt looked scary, but his tummy said that he wouldn’t hurt Dean. Not on purpose, anyway. Not like his old daddy did.

“Can he look at your shoulders, baby? He just wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“I won’t touch you, if you don’t want me to.”

Slowly, Dean nodded. Jasky pulled away, letting Geralt scoot closer. He didn’t touch, like he promised, just looking at the colorful splotches on his shoulders. He still looked kind of scary and kind of sad, but he didn’t yell and he didn’t touch Dean and he didn’t say mean things.

“Okay,” he said after a long while. “Missouri should have what I need. I’ll go make some paste for him while you bathe him.” He stood, looming over Dean. He quickly stepped back. “Let me know if he has other injuries.”

Missouri and Geralt left after that and Jasky was careful with helping him undress the rest of the way. Jasky talked and talked and talked, making up stories and letting Dean play with the rubber ducky they had found. And it was kind of fun—like back before the fire when mommy would give him a bath. Jasky let him play for a long, long time until their fingers were wrinkly and the water was cold before he helped Dean out and get dried.

Geralt was there when they were done, waiting just outside the door with a bowl. He tried to hand it to Jasky, but Dean shook his head and moved closer to Geralt. Something told him that he needed the big man to do it. Like his tummy was telling him he could trust Geralt to not hurt him.

Geralt sat on his heels in front of Dean, gently applying the weird paste stuff. It smelled good, though, like flowers, and it made his shoulders feel a lot better. When Geralt was done, Dean quickly darted forward to hug him. He was very hard, but warm and safe, too.

Then they dressed him and got him settled on the mattress on the floor. The grownups had been scared he would fall out of the big bed when they first got here, and it was in the room where daddy and Sammy had been sleeping, too. But tonight Geralt and Jasky slept in the big bed and wished him sweet dreams.

And later, when he woke up crying from his bad dream and choking on fire and smoke and heat, big, strong arms held him close but gentle and soft words were whispered in his ear and a soft hand stroked through his hair and when he fell back asleep, exhausted from crying after they told him it was okay to cry, it was between daddy and Jasky all snuggled up and warm and _safe_.


End file.
